tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
