dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
