He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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