Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
