How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize