Kiss
Puke
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
