plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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