It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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