He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
