So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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