The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
