Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize