don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
His nipple licking is glorious
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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