you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize