Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize