AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
