Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
