i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
