I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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