How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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