Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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