I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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