I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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