i think my mom watched the whole time
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
