Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
