How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
