it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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