For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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