I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
is that a dick in a sweater?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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