I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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