I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
