In the future we'll all be gay
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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