____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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