Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
