When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
