plz talk dirty to me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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