she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
