It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
