if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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