ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
