i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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