What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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