Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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