I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
