I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize