chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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