He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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