My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
