I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize