Welp...herpes.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
