Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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