No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
