Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
too bad you live with your parents still
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
