I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
home. puking in laundry basket.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
