I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
