If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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