Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
