i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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