Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
