You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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