I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
