i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
