Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
