Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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