do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
